25 May 2011

Things That Infuriate Me: 'Just You Wait'

I posted about Ivanka Trump's pregnancy the other day [here]. While I love Ivanka, one thing I read in her Bazaar interview annoyed me. At the end of the interview, Ivanka mentioned having more kids in the future. "I'd love to have three or four kids," she says, pausing before giving a wry smile. "But my mom always says, 'Speak to me after you have your first.'"
ivanka trump
Photo and interview here
I always wonder why some people act like everyone who has a child will immediately vow not to have more because it's just so difficult [especially when you have the resources to hire as much help as you want]. Obviously some children have special needs or other issues that make things more difficult and I realize that. I just don't understand why, if kids are so horrible, people ask 'when are you going to have kids?' until you tell them you're going to and then they tell you how you're never going to sleep, etc.
My sweet baby who, shockingly, has slept well since the first week of her life
I've been lucky with Bay and I don't expect all of my kids to be good sleepers or to get along all the time because that's just part of parenting. I prepared for several years before becoming a mother and I constantly research as much as I can so that I can do the best job possible. That doesn't ensure that Bay will be completely successful in everything or that we will agree 100% of the time but it gives us much better odds than no preparation at all. I hate the 'just you wait' advice. I've also noticed that it always comes from parents whose kids are really badly-behaved.
The day before Easter- Bay actually let me put bunny ears on her!
I recently went to Mass [S goes every Sunday and I've been trying to get up and go more often] and saw a large family crossing the street to go into the Cathedral. I counted the children- all TEN of them! Yes, I realize it's a Catholic church and all but I couldn't believe it. And guess what? All 10 children [the oldest was maybe 9?] sat quietly with their parents through the entire Mass. They were the most well-behaved kids in there. That just goes to support my theory that the number of children you have is inversely proportional to how well-behaved they are [with exceptions, of course].


  1. I hate when people make it sound like having kids is the worst thing in the world. I think it's because some people don't embrace parenting. And when children don't have adequate parenting, that's when they turn into brats. Not that I'm a parent yet, but even in just my nannying experience that's been the case.

    As for what you said about "inversely proportional" if I'm understanding you correctly, that's kind of how I feel. I want to start trying for #2 ASAP after #1. Two under two is my goal. I think that having siblings is how you learn not to be selfish and spoiled, and it is super important during the toddler years to learn that you aren't the center of the universe. It seems that you are interested in having sibling[s] for Bay, so hopefully you won't be offended when I say I dread people telling me they plan on only having/or have only had one child. Not all only children are rotten by any means, but it seems like a lot of them are...

    Also, I first read that as the family had ten kids under the age of four. I was very concerned.

  2. i definitely plan for bay to have siblings- as many as we can handle/ afford while still giving each one individual time. i originally planned to only adopt but after a couple of years, S still wasn't ready for that so we compromised and now we have bay :)

    i also think it's most important for the first two children to be closer in age because obviously any younger siblings would never know what it's like to be an only child and i don't want bay to be an only for too long. i'm sure it's possible to raise an only child well but it's certainly not my plan.

    as for only children, those [many in my own family] who have told me they don't think they missed out seem to relate to others differently from the way of people who come from large families with lots of children. i have two older step brothers [they never lived with me] and was basically an only child until my sister was born when i was 9. i never liked being an only child and even though i liked playing alone sometimes, it never felt as normal to me as it did once i had a sibling.